how can u be prego again
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
