Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize