actually, I'm a sock model
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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