you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
