so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize