she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
