Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
