K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
