just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
