I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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