I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
