it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
