she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize