how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
