what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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