John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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