took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
