I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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