When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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