her vagine was all disorganized.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
