I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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