i barfeds in our rink
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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