he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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