I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
