So drunk its hurt
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
