when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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