Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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