it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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