He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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