Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize