I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize