alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what day is it and did you see me today?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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