rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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