When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
