so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
