So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
