Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
