I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
