Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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