look no pants
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize