Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
