i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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