so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
