Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
