tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
