Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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