I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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