wat bout pragnant strippers??
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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