you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize