Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
