You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
