okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
