HIV tests are more positive than that guy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Still dying that you shit outside
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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