Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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