Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
