Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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