Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
