Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
