alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
