Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
