i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
