those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
did you just send me my own nude
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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